
Intimacy Festival
I'm going to a festival today. Sounds fun, right? But it isn't that simple to me.
My nervous system is easily disregulated and it takes conscious effort to regulate it.
Some people might call me sensitive, others would call it introvert, shy, complicated, distant, empathic or any other label that sooths them.
To me understanding why my nervous system craves safety and goes into alarm with every sign of non-alignment in others, myself and the environment has helped me to fe

The Wheel of Consent ≠ Permission
I’m not in a ranting mode today, so this will be a different tone than my Wheel rant. ;-)
I do want to explain myself and my perception on working with the Wheel of Consent a little bit more.
Maybe you’ve heard me say before that it’s important to get proper training on the Wheel of Consent from people that are trained by the School of Consent or from the School of Consent itself.
I remember I thought I understood the Wheel after watching the video’s on Betty’s website an

WHEEL RANT
Sometimes a part of me can get so f*cking annoyed by reading posts or event descriptions on Facebook.
Like when people say their sessions are based on the Wheel of Consent or their workshop is based on the Wheel of Consent.
O really, I ask… What kind of training did you do with Betty Martin?
Or with Matt and Robyn perhaps? With one of the official Facilitators then?
None…
From what I read in the workshop description , the workshop can never be based on the Wheel.
I fe

Yes, Yes, Yes!!!
In the Touch Academy a question that is often asked is one that sounds like:
'What if my body feels a big yes to being sexual with someone, but my mind has a lot of reasons why I shouldn't or my heart feels this is not what I really want?' I want to share a little bit about my view on this with you.
Maybe it brings more clarity to you as well. This question has been a huge learning and transformation for me in the past years. Where I first mostly followed my mind and ignore

Do I have a choice?
I can do this, really, I can, I tell myself. Part 1:
I feel already a bit uneasy, my body restless, thinking about all kind of solutions for the challenges that might be ahead if I go in. So, there we go again. I have been here so many times.
I should be relaxed with it by now.
It will be oké, I tell myself. I can always say no if I really don’t want to.
I will manage.
I should be able to handle it by now.
It will be oké, really. I can do this. I can handle this.
So I