“I was told I’m not masculine enough, so I want to develop that” or even “someone told me I need to work on that”, I hear quite some clients say.
“I want to be more feminine”, I hear from women as well.
As if something is wrong with them.
When I was in a workshop to learn a new computer skill and I used my intelligent brain (which I love and feel grateful for) to the max of its capacity, a man said to me with a disgusted look on his face: “You are not very balanced in your energy. You’re very masculine”
Thank God, I know I really like my balanced energies and I know all of them serve me really well.
The biggest tragedy about these kind of comments is that people actually believe it.
To me these kind of comments are the biggest bullshit I can imagine.
As we are people, in all colors and flavors, with all kind of energies, which can even change depending on the moment or who we are with.
There is no such thing as not masculine enough.
Or not feminine enough.
I never meet someone that is not masculine or feminine enough anymore after I have recognized and valued the whole spectrum of energies in myself.
A lot of the time these comments are based on a person’s needs not being met by a partner, friend or student.
It is of course so much easier if the other person changes, so he/ she fills up your gap then it is to develop those qualities yourself.
I don’t need my partner to hold space for me because I have not learned to do it myself;
I don’t need my partner to stand strong so I can test his strength, I rely on my own strength;
I don’t need him to read my mind about what I need, I can ask for what I want.
I don’t need him to fuck me to God or to give me hour long orgasms all of the time.
So you can throw away all of those blogs that tell you what women want from men.
Because really, I’m an adult woman, I can do those things myself.
Yes, I can even fuck myself to god if I want to. ;-)
So what do I need and long for then? Or what is it that I enjoy in relating?
Big words, right?
What they mean to me, is that I ask you to share all of you with me.
That you are welcome as you are. I’m curious to get to know you.
You don’t need to be more of this or more of that to fill my gaps.
I’m filled up with me.
I just love to see you, in all of your shades and colors.
So if you are a man and you are a bit shy, nervous, careful, sensitive and soft: Just enjoy what is inside of you in the moment. You don’t need to work on changing it into what is expected of you as a man. Just be you and be you with grace and beauty.
If you are a woman that likes to be in charge, take action, take the lead or work with your head. Wow, how amazing is that? Just honor it in yourself and enjoy being you.
You are not less of a woman then the woman that seems to dance, float and be in orgasm all the time. Just be you, and be as amazing in it as you can.
Sometimes I love to play with parts of myself that are strong, focused, strong-willed, take the lead, feel responsible, want to contribute by taking action, take charge, that like a challenge, that want to think and solve problems.
And sometimes I want to dance, flow, drift, surrender, follow, shine, melt, be soft, be without focus, just be.
Does that mean one is masculine and one is feminine?
Not to me.
I have seen these qualities in all kind of people.
They are just a variety of energies that we all contain.
So let’s play with all of them and value them equally, no matter the body they are showing up in.