About Orgasm - part 2: Should I avoid a peak orgasm?
About Orgasm part 2: Should I avoid a peak orgasm?
This is part 2 of my blog about orgasm.
In part 1 I wrote about one of the most asked questions I get: How to reach an orgasm?
Please read part 1 first:
The second question I get a lot, mostly from people that practice Tantra is:
Should I avoid peak orgasm?
There are some tantric schools that teach participants that peak orgasm should be avoided because it will drain your energy and prevent you from having different (they usually call it better or more advanced) orgasms.
Peak (or clitoral/ejaculatory) orgasm are seen as the enemy you need to fight.
So the participants feel ashamed, guilty or frustrated if they don’t manage to stay away from peak orgasm.
So what do I think about this?
I think it’s a lot of BULLSHIT.
So there is no truth in it at all? Well, there is a tiny bit of truth there.
During peak orgasm the pelvic muscles tighten. If there already is high tension in your pelvic muscles, it might be hard to let go of the tension after orgasm.
Your muscles will stay tighter than before, will have problems releasing toxins and taking in nutrients, the nerve endings will slowly have more difficulty sending arousal messages to your brain. This is usually a slow process and you probably won’t notice the results only after quite a while.
So should you avoid peak orgasm then because of that?
In my opinion that’s drawing the wrong conclusion.
As what you want to avoid is the high muscle tension in your pelvis, not the orgasm.
If you would release the tension in the pelvic tissue after orgasm, you avoid the negative side effects that might show up and you can happily enjoy your peak orgasm.
A second point to prove you should avoid peak orgasm that people bring to the table is, that there is a drop in feeling good hormones after the orgasm.
So let’s look at that.
Your body has a natural hormone cycle in which there is a time for action and a time for rest.
Your peak orgasm has a function in that cycle.
Sometimes you can feel a bit down or sad after orgasm.
The drop in hormones offers the opportunity for emotions that have been stuck or stored to come out. It gives you a chance to look inward and let your body rest and restore.
By not wanting to feel that, you’re missing out on a great opportunity for yourself to clean up your system and heal your body a bit more.
So by keeping your energy in an unnatural high state for a very long time, your body will eventually be drained of nutrients and start to collapse.
What about the argument that peak orgasm will prevent you from having different kind of orgasms?
There are several nerves in your pelvis that can create different kinds of orgasms or orgasmic states when they are stimulated. There is also an endless range of sensations that you can experience by stimulating different combinations of nerves.
When you only have orgasms by stimulating 1 nerve, like in the clitoral or the ejaculatory orgasm in men, that neural pathway becomes the default mode for your body. It is where your body goes when arousal grows.
It’s like a path in the forest that has been walked upon a lot. It is easy to go there.
It is much harder to take a path through the forest that no one has walked before.
So it is important to stimulate other neural pathways as well if you want to have a broader variety of orgasmic feelings. You want those paths to broaden and be walked upon as well.
It can be a good option to avoid peak orgasm for a while to make it easier for yourself to experience and grow the sensations the other pleasure nerves can give you.
You create more of a balance that way. You give the new pathways the opportunity to become familiar territory as well.
It’s like developing a new habit. It takes a bit of time and more perseverance in the beginning. As soon as it’s integrated in your system you have a lot more options to choose from.
When you can access different nerves and different pleasure sensations in your body, you’ll have a broader range of choice in arousal and orgasm.
peak orgasm is then just 1 of the things on the menu that you can enjoy as much as all the other options. I hope this offers you more clarity on this hot topic, so you can make the choice yourself. I'd love to hear if it supports you in your choice. <3 With love, Mariëlle