Sometimes a part of me can get so f*cking annoyed by reading posts or event descriptions on Facebook.
Like when people say their sessions are based on the Wheel of Consent or their workshop is based on the Wheel of Consent.
O really, I ask… What kind of training did you do with Betty Martin?
Or with Matt and Robyn perhaps? With one of the official Facilitators then?
From what I read in the workshop description , the workshop can never be based on the Wheel.
I feel the shivers in my body when I read some of the lines people use.
So many people are using the words “the Wheel of Consent’ without having a clue of what they really contain.
So what then? Do people mean to misuse it?
No, not at all…
People usually really think they know what it is about, are enthusiastic about it and want to teach it to others or incorporate it in their work..
And yes, it is open source material. Which is great.
Betty Martin offers it to the world so it can be of use to everyone.
But please, if you want to teach it, go to a training, and then go again and again.
And ask Betty if you get it enough to teach it.
Because not everyone gets it the first time, or the second or ever.
I notice in myself I learn more and more layers of it with every training that I take or offer, every session that I offer, every day that I live.
As I use the practice of the Wheel a lot in my daily life.
Because the Wheel is something that you feel, that infects every cell in your system, not something that you know.
You cannot get it without having it in your body.
The only way to get it in your body, is to practice it.
And if you get it in your body, it will turn your world around.
It is not always gentle, not always easy and it is certainly not something you just need to understand. It is about a raw, groundbreaking experience.
When you use ‘the Wheel of Consent’ that is a totally different thing then when you use ‘consent’. The Wheel doesn’t equal ‘permission’ for example.
And if your teaching is based on the Wheel, there are many more consequences for the organization of your workshop, how people partner up, how you welcome people, how you communicate every single word that you speak, every choice that you make, every answer that you give or don’t give.
Playing the 3 minute game in your workshop doesn’t mean you teach the Wheel of Consent.
I love it how the Wheel becomes more and more known. And at the same time I see wrong interpretations of it everywhere, spreading like the plague.
And I feel annoyed and sad when I see and hear people over and over talking about the Wheel in a way that has nothing to do with the real teachings of the Wheel.
Sometimes I even feel despair.
As I know what the Wheel can contribute if it is taught in the right way.
So please, do me a favor and learn from the School of Consent if you want to offer this work to participants and clients. They have amazing live and online trainings you can participate in. I can totally recommend them to you.
Or otherwise, do me a favor and please don’t use the term “Wheel of Consent” before you really know what it is about. The word “consent” is maybe less fashionable than the fabulous “Wheel of Consent”, but probably more accurate.
Marielle (who has a big crush on the Wheel as you most probably got from my Rant)